Zootopia Short Stories: Nick's Sofa
by Old Goat
Summary: Nick finds an old sofa on the street and takes it home, Judy is not impressed. Just a funny fluffy short story about Nick and Judy which I wrote because I was bored while watching the rain fall at the farm.


**Zootopia Short Stories: Nick's Sofa**

* * *

 **Nick finds an old sofa on the street and takes it home, Judy is not impressed. Just a funny fluffy short story about Nick and Judy which I wrote because I was bored while watching the rain fall at the farm.**

 _I do not own the rights to Zootopia or any of its characters. This story was written solely for the reader's enjoyment and without any profitable purposes. The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this story are fictitious._

* * *

"I don't care what you think about my new sofa!" Nick Wilde huffed as he sprawled across the ratty old brown nylon pillows of the tattered couch. "I found it on the side of the road in Sahara Square and it's the most comfortable thing I ever laid upon!" The red fox was half dressed in a pair of brown tan cargo shorts and without a shirt, his paw lazily scratched the cream colored fur on his chest as he smirked at the rabbit.

Sitting at nearby table, the rabbit in the pink checkered shirt and blue jeans rolled her eyes at the fox's statement. "Nick that…that thing…is an eyesore!" Judy replied as she looked around at the apartment where her partner lived, it was advertised as a studio but calling it that was being very charitable to say the least. The only window in the basement room looked out at steel well wall and provided very little light, overhead the building's exposed pipes ran from one end of the room to the other and creaked when the water was turned on or gurgled when an upstairs commode was flushed. Nick tried to pass it off as being his "foxy bachelor den", but the rabbit had to wonder what any vixen would say if he brought one down here? She paused when she realized that he had never attempted to do so, at least as far as she knew?

Shaking her head to get that thought out of her mind, Judy did have to admit that despite its many drawbacks that Nick's apartment was affordable and more importantly, it was one of the few places downtown near the police station which would even rent to a fox. Her place at the Grand Pangolin Arms was further away and much smaller, with noisy neighbors, greasy peeling wallpaper, and a community bathroom down the hallway. Nick's place did have an bathroom, even if it had an old tin washtub instead of a shower.

The bunny's lavender eyes looked the room's decor over, there were a couple of chairs which the fox had bought from a thrift store, a battered but brightly painted dresser, and of course his unkempt bed which was just a box spring and a mattress plopped down on the concrete floor. Rumpled mismatched sheets and a few army surplus olive drab green wool blankets were wadded on top of the bed along with a thick goose down filled white comforter which suspiciously looked like the ones that the nearby Radishton Hotel uses. She tusked when she saw his police uniform had been lazily tossed on the bed too.

"I'll get a pretty blanket to cover it with and it'll be great!" Nick suddenly stated as he scratched his neck. "Maybe one of those fancy fuzzy throw blankets with the image of trees or a woven coyote blanket with a western pattern, you know one with all those zigzag patterns."

"You'll need more than a blanket for that thing!" she laughed and then she saw the tacky painting on the wall and grimaced, Nick could not be called a great connoisseur of fine art. The picture was painted on black velvet and featured a half naked reddish orange furred vixen in a grass skirt seductively standing in the surf with palm trees in the background. Her partner was infatuated with anything Pawaiian and constantly told her that he was going to go there one day when he earned enough money to "do it in style". She remembered arguing with Nick before he bought the picture from a guy selling paintings from the back of his pickup truck that was illegally parked in front of a gas station.

"Don't they sell those…what do they call them…Oh yeah, slipcovers at Wallaby-Mart?" the fox added as he reached up and scratched behind his ear. "One of those would make this look like it was brand new. Maybe get some fancy colorful throw pillows to spice it up, you know how sophisticated throw pillows can make a room look."

"Nick, I don't think they make a slipcover that would improve that monstrosity, except maybe a large elephant sized trash bag?" she laughed as she looked down at the old ratty red, yellow, and brown shag carpet which was under the beat up old coffee table. The fox was thrilled when he found the table in a dumpster while they were on patrol one day. As for the carpet remnant, which he dared call a rug, he claimed it was vintage from the Seventies. Then there was the lamp...that lamp...he found after Christmas in someone's trash, it was a plastic reproduction of Gazelle's leg with black net stockings and a Preyda spiked heeled hoofshoe, the red and gold tasseled evergreen colored lampshade didn't improve the lamp's appearance. Her gaze returned back to the handsome fox who was still lounged half naked on the couch, she blushed when she realized that she was staring at his creamy white chest fur. Cheese and Crackers, why did he have to look that good?

"Har…Har…Carrots," Nick grumbled out as he scratched his muzzle and then with his other paw patted the pillow next to him. "Come over here and take a seat, it's like snuggling into a cloud."

"More like a storm cloud Slick," she laughed as she fought the temptation to join him, to snuggle up against his soft fur, and instead walked into his kitchen. At least he did have an old white refrigerator, but when she peeked inside of it she frowned because all the carrot juice was gone and it was full of stinky opened tin cans of half eaten bug or fish stews. Holding her nose, she quickly closed the door while shuddering to think what was in the freezer. Instead of daring to peek, she looked at all the selfies he had printed out at the office and had stuck with magnets on the fridge door, most were of her and him goofing around. The remainder of the so called kitchen was a propane camp stove to cook on and a small sink, plus a microwave and of course the drip coffee maker which didn't look like it had been cleaned for years. The fox maintained that to wash the scum off the glass pot would ruin the coffee's taste.

As she walked away, Nick's nose twitched and he cocked his head in confusion at the scent she was giving off. He thanked the Great Lion Above that he was a red fox and his blushing didn't show as he looked at her fluffy perky grey and white tail and her firm...he jumped in surprise when she spoke.

"There is no way I'm going to sit on that!" She said as she turned with her paws on her waist and watched as Nick vigorously scratched under his muzzle.

"I can't understand why anyone would throw away a perfectly good sofa like this?" he mused as he reached for the television's remote control in hopes of finding something that would get his mind off of..well...her! The one thing that the fox didn't buy cheap was his new state of the art, plasma screen television. It was almost as big as he was tall, but it sat on a table made from a wide unpainted board propped up on a couple of concrete blocks. He slapped his leg and scratched again as he turned it on and began to search for a show.

Judy's ears drooped as she watched the fox began scratching his tail. "Hey Nick!" she called out. "You did vacuum that thing before you laid on it, didn't you?" she asked with concern.

"No why?" Nick replied as he scratched under his arm.

"Ewwww! I think it gave you fleas!" Judy yelled as she ran across the room towards the door.

It took some effort before they finally hauled the flea ridden sofa out to the street and left it next to the dumpster. Nick then returned to his apartment to take a bath in the wash tub filled with an extra douse of flea dip.

A few hours later two friend were walking along the sidewalk. "Hey Raj, look at this perfectly good couch someone threw away!" the goat called out to his taller friend.

"That's just what my apartment needs Howard!" the large tiger answered as he helped the goat pick it up and carry it back inside the apartment complex. "Maybe I can get a big blanket to cover it with, something like one of those fancy fuzzy throw blankets with the image of trees or …."

* * *

 **Okay so this is a rip off of the** _ **The Big Bang Theory**_ **episode called** **"The Infestation Hypothesis" Check out my profile for other Zootopia Short Stories!**

 ** **From Zootopia Short Stories: Nick's Girlfriend Returns** **

_The baseball bat welding fennec fox angrily threw open the backdoor of his van and glared at the mammal who stood in front of him. His eyes widen in shock as he looked at the vixen who was standing there with a smirk on her face. "Candy when did they let you out?" he stammered in a surprised voice._

 _"Aw, you missed me after all you little pipsqueak!" she giggled at the sight of the small fox in his usual black bowling shirt and khaki shorts. "Still the snappy dresser I see."_

 _Finn glowered as the vixen pushed him aside and jumped up onto the van's tailgate, she took a seat on the edge of the bumper. The red fox named Candy was just as attractive as she was four years ago when they arrested her for attempting to hustle a rich old goat out of his family's fortune. His eyes wandered over her body, down her sleek reddish orange fur to the white tip on her tail. She was dressed in a simple blue tank top and a pair of very revealing cutoff blue jean shorts, he couldn't help but admire her curves. "So pipsqueak where is my Nicki?" she asked in a seductive voice as her paw reached up and stroked his ear. She smiled as the smaller fox accidentally dropped his baseball bat and almost started purring, Finn always was putty in her paws._

 _He shook himself and leaned against the inside wall of the van. "He ain't the same girl," he replied in as cool of a tone as his deep voice could muster. "The boy has gone legit."_


End file.
